


Keiji Loved Koutarou

by eden_x



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28774437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eden_x/pseuds/eden_x
Summary: Slowly, the life Keiji had built together with Koutarou crumbled and broke around him.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	Keiji Loved Koutarou

**Author's Note:**

> First fic on here!! Also sorry in advance but I was in an angsty mood so be warned that this does not have a happy ending. Also, I love bokuaka but I felt this scenario would hurt most with them.

Keiji loved Koutarou. It was a fact that everyone knew and stated often with as much confidence as one would say that the sky is blue or that the grass is green. Keiji had loved him since the first time he had seen the boy in the gym of Fukurodani in his third year of middle school and decided that even if Fukurodani hadn’t been his first choice, it would all be worth it if it meant that he could set for Bokuto Koutarou. His star.

From that point on, the two grew closer. By the end of Keiji’s second year he and Koutarou had started dating, as much as their friends and teammates goaded that, realistically, they had been dating since Keiji’s first year; the truth being that though they acted as a couple, Koutarou hadn’t asked him out until after the Spring High tournament with encouragement from their teammates as well as Kuroo. 

Though the first year they spent dating was full of late-night phone calls and monthly dates when Koutarou could make it home from playing professional volleyball- straight out of high school, as he boasted often (neglecting to mention the fact that he was nowhere close to being a starter at this point). The first year was rough, but the two of them had powered through it as they always did, making promises to one another and planning their life together after Keiji had graduated.

The pair moved into their own apartment a month before Keiji started university. A week was used to unpack boxes and although they had to live scarcely until either of them could get paid- it was home, and it was their home. Koutarou’s volleyball memorabilia scattered around their small living room, Keiji’s scarce amount of books taking home on the singular bookshelf they had taken from the Bokuto household, and pictures everywhere of them, their teams- both old and new, and their friends. They built their life together as Keiji always knew they would since that day in middle school.

It started small at first. So small that Keiji hadn’t put much thought into it at all. Koutarou was known to be an expressive texter- with key smashes, more text lingo than one would think possible, and grammar that made it hard to decipher what exactly was so intriguing about the picture he had just sent. Knowing this about his boyfriend’s texting habits made it all the weirder when Koutarou had started toning down his sentences when they texted each other.

‘Hey, I’m at the grocery store do you want anything?’

This was a question that was often asked as the two boys lived together, seeing as Keiji did the shopping while Koutarou did the cooking (as much as he hated to admit it, Keiji was terrible in the kitchen while Koutarou was actually much more careful and patient than his personality would suggest). Normally, the response from his boyfriend would be a paragraph of junk food or frantic texts of, ‘WAIT FOR ME WAT FOR MEEE IM ALMST HME!!!!!!!’ along with all the emojis that Koutarou deemed fit for the conversation. This is why Keiji had to reread the reply he had received this time.

‘nah im good’

Keiji ran through dozens of scenarios in his head- maybe one of his teammates had stolen his phone and was hiding it from the man in question. Or perhaps he had asked a friend of his to respond to Keiji’s message while he was busy doing God knows what. That had to be it.

‘Everything okay?’

Although he had responded to Koutarou’s text only a minute after he had sent it, the former setter didn’t get a reply until he was standing in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. A reply consisting of two words.

‘yeah fine’

Koutarou was prone to emo modes- Keiji knew this, their friends knew this, even the general public knew this. He had wanted to write this off as one of those instances, as Koutarou failing a few line shots during practice and getting upset about it, but one look at Koutarou’s Instagram had told him that this theory was wrong. A post from 2 minutes ago which he had put off checking while he shopped had showcased Koutarou out with his friends, laughing, smiling, and fooling around without a care in the world.

The former setter didn’t let this bother him. He knew that Koutarou probably wanted to focus on hanging out with friends he rarely got to see and thus resulted in the quick and unusual texts to Keiji. It made sense. And so he let it go.

Days passed and his new texting style never left. Keiji tried to think nothing of this, pushing his insecurities to the back of his mind in order to come to the conclusion that Koutarou had simply adopted a new, more subdued texting style to match Keiji’s. That had to be it. Until Keiji was out with Konoha during one of their get-togethers where the two got coffee when both of them had a break from university.

“Hey, I forgot to say this to Bokuto and I know texting him myself will result in way too long of a conversation, but tell him I said congrats!” The words interrupted the silence that had settled between the two while drinking their coffees.

“Congrats?” Keiji wasn’t sure what his boyfriend could be congratulated for in the recent months.

“Yeah! I know that training camp is a huge deal and probably means he might be called up soon,” Konoha explained to Keiji, although it only created more confusion for the former setter.

“Training camp? What training camp?”

“Y’know.. the training camp Bo was invited to?” Konoha paused his words to pull out his phone and turn it towards Keiji, showcasing texts between himself and Koutarou, “Here! He texted me like.. two days ago? But I was passed out and forgot to respond to him.”

Keiji read the text messages, plural, that his boyfriend had sent their former teammate. The texts consisted of all the nuances that Koutarou used to text him with- emojis and typos galore, along with a plethora of exclamation marks that took up almost half the texts by itself.

‘KONOHAAAAAAA’

‘KONOHA’

‘KONOHAHAHA’

‘HAHA’

‘LOOOK!!!!!!! TRANING CAMPP!!!! IM GONNA BE A PRO IN NO TIME!!!!!’

He smiled fondly at the texts for a moment before remembering the context in which he was being shown the texts from his friend. Koutarou hadn’t told him about this training camp. He hadn’t told him, and Keiji was unsure if he was planning on telling him before he had left. Looking at the screenshot that his boyfriend had sent Konoha entailing an email from the training camp coordinator, Keiji had noted that the email had been received nearly two weeks ago. Not to mention the fact that while Keiji was receiving replies from his boyfriend with barely a sentence and zero capitalization, Koutarou had still been texting everyone else as he usually did.

“-eiji? Keiji? Earth to Akaashi?”

Keiji didn’t realize how long he had been thinking things over in his head.

“Yes?”

“What’s wrong? You zoned out on me for a while.”

“I wasn’t aware that Koutarou had a training camp, that’s all. I must’ve forgotten that he told me or something,” He had already started making excuses; Keiji was well aware of the fact that Koutarou had not told him anything about the camp within the last two weeks.

“Oh..”

The pair sat silent for a few moments.

“I think I’ll be heading out now. It was nice to see you, Konoha-san,” Keiji stood and draped his coat over his arm before turning to walk away.

“Keiji, is everything alright? Keiji?” The man in question acted as if he couldn’t hear the words over the bell ringing above the door as he exited the coffee shop and started the walk home.

Koutarou wasn’t home when he arrived back at their apartment and Keiji wasn’t sure if he was happy or upset over the fact. He knew that for as long as he had been able to form full sentences, he overthought many things. Try as he might to write this off as more overthinking, Keiji could only reach dead ends to try explaining his boyfriend's behaviour over text messages.

Talking in person didn’t fare much better.

The pair still spent a lot of their time together and although Koutarou was still as loud and upbeat as he was in high school, Keiji knew that things were different now. It wasn’t hard to notice when he couldn’t remember the last time his boyfriend had even made eye contact with him, even if he tried every day to goad the volleyball player into it.

“Kou?”

“What’s up, babe?” Koutarou didn’t look away from the television showcasing a replay of a volleyball match that had been on the previous night.

“Are we doing anything next week?” The question was a simple one, one that took Koutarou no time to think of.

“No? Why would we?”

It happened to be that Keiji’s birthday fell on the Thursday of the next week, and although a surprise party may have been plausible, Keiji knew that Koutarou wouldn’t have been able to keep that a secret from him (he had tried during Keiji’s second year of high school and caved the day after the rest of the team had planned it, telling the setter everything).

“Nevermind. Don’t worry about it.” 

His Koutarou, the old Koutarou that is, would have rushed towards Keiji and tried hugging him to death as he begged his boyfriend to tell him what was wrong. This Koutarou simply watched the players on TV jump and spike as Keiji turned towards their bedroom, with an ‘Alright” and a barely-there wave of his hand.

Keiji didn’t know when things had gotten to this point. When Koutarou stopped being his Koutarou, when he could barely spare the time of day for his boyfriend or acknowledge him in their own home. Forced smiles, awkward laughter, the distance between them growing larger and larger. When had this become their life together? When had the home they built together become nothing more than a roof over their heads and a rest stop for them to eat, even rarely doing that at home, before separating and doing their own things?

Maybe they could talk this out, Keiji could try understanding Koutarou’s thoughts and helping him work through them- they could do that together as they once did when they barely knew how the world worked. But as Keiji arrived home from his final lecture of the day to the volleyball memorabilia missing and picture frames that had been hanging up for months having disappeared he knew that was only wishful thinking.

Keiji loved Koutarou. But it may have been too much to ask for Koutarou to love him the same way.


End file.
